But try couples counseling and go from there. Sorry man, I feel like we all over share with our friends sometimes. What drops it a full letter grade for me is that the protagonist is always an Abercrombie model. That was extra stupid. She immediately started apologizing and saying she loves me and it was drunk girl talk and she didnt mean anything. He said his wife told him what happened and he wanted to let me know he doesnt give a shit about me being bi and thinks the while situation is fucked. Anywho, I keep listening and one of her friends mentions that she ran into Tom while grocery shopping and found out that hes visiting family in town. I haven't gotten through this personally, however, I would suggest marriage counseling if you stay with her. Thank you for giving me my laugh for the day haha. The biggest thing in my mind is, she shouldn't be saying things to appease her friends because she thinks they'll judge her for being with you. Itll be hurtful to both of you for a long time and you probably both need therapy but if you truly do love each other, itll be worth it. The thing that's most revolting is that she'd hang you out to dry just to agree with her mates. First, I am so sorry she made those statements for whatever the reason. If you love her and things work, then your answer is clear. We hung on because we truly love each other and that is what really counts. Especially because the reason behind the "close call" was because OP is bi. It's the typical "I'm in a perfect relationship but I overheard something that nobody would ever say out loud knowing I'm in the other room" scenario that gets done all of the time on here. Couples counseling could help. Don't make any decisions until you have calmed down. Your wife's unfortunate refusal to do the same speaks to her character too. Your sex life sounds amazing. I don't think you will recover from this. There's a wide gulf between those that think that's okay and the rest of us. Your wife definitely violated your trust by sharing that information with her friends. Not impossible, but def not easy or quick. If after you calm down you still feel like being together, I would even consider moving out. 1) Your wife was so freaked she let the fact that you're bi slip out two years ago yet continues to discuss it with them? What she did is disrespectful to you as her husband, to herself as your wife, disrespectful AF to your kids (because they will absolutely hear this rumorone day if you live in a small town) and in my opinion this is a divorce threshold. She's betrayed you. Why would she tell them you enjoy costumes? Its one of the biggest consequences to a pushover personality and if she wants to get back on OPs good side/have a better go with a different relationship, shes gotta level up on her backbone first. Normally I'd say you have to share it but I'm not sure what that looks like. Sending you strength. It was over something dumb, but she's fucking nuts and didn't want me to date anybody. I will always defend my guy. What she did was so horrible. Best of luck with whatever you decide! I told her how emasculated and embarrassed I felt. This is what I found out: She let my sexuality slip two years ago at a bachelorette party to her friends when she was completely shit faced and didnt remember till one of the girls made a joke about it and she freaked out and made them swear to never tell anyone she told them cause she knew how upset Id be. I even heard her shoosh the friend who said it and peek inside the kitchen but I hid behind the counter and kept listening. It just seems like shes ashamed of it an projecting. She might actually be into the stuff you guys do but is pressured by her friends to be a shitty person. Is going to take a very long time to fix such fuckery. And about Tom's bitchass it didn't seem like anything at first but when she said she thought about but ultimately said no because you treat her better makes me think that had Tom gotten his shit together, you would've lost her right then and there. And also refused to allow anyone to talk about it. If yes then walk and bear the burdens of the breakup, but if you think you together are worth saving, then do something to sort out the issues and move beyond it. Bisexuality is valid. This story isnt funny but that first line killed me. I don't know what you should do but I know you shouldn't just roll over and say it's okay. Its so stupid, Im sure shes great in all other aspects but she needs to stand up for you. If they outed me and mocked our sex life with their friends, I would never be able to be intimate with them again. It's mainly drunk talk and a bit of peer pressure getting to your wife and she clearly regrets it We all make mistakes sometimes but this is how you grow as a couple! You gotta fuck Tom. That is why we married each other. I don't know what I'd do. Ha fucking ha. If she did "accidentally" let it slip that you're bi, why did she continue talking with them about your sexuality in any context? Take your time, make sure you heal on your timeline not hers. She just let it slip. Stand firm in that it wasn't okay to disclose private information that you didn't want to be made public. She has betrayed your trust. Funny thing she thought it would cheer me up to tell absolutely fucking everyone, just to cheer me up. Both were pretty against it and kind of gave me a hard time about trying it with my husband and even liking it. Secondly, words mean nothing without action to back it up. Will you ever be able to "do the bi stuff" in bed with her again? If you need more time to yourself, take it. Whenever theyre in bed together, the thought of her thinking of other man will show up in his head. If she cant trust herself to keep her mouth shut around her friends when drunk, then she shouldnt drink around her friends. Truly when you come to the realisation your partner has such a low view , I sympathise a lot with you dude. The best part was, after a couple of months, everything was solved, tadalafile was no longer necessary, I find out she had a hookup during that period. Look beyond her faux Pas and look at the positives and what you enjoy. People can be so two-faced with that kind of thing. So props to you. It shouldnt be that way forever, and hopefully it isnt one day. Tell her to flip the genders and make it you and the "boys" doing "locker room talk" about her and all the things she likes in the bedroom. They don't have her best interest at heart and they will just as quickly sow seeds of doubt to her evidently impressionable mind. Let's give your wife the benefit of the doubt for a moment. So will she keep acting to her friends like she has a problem with it? He said if i wanna get together for a drink or whatever to let him know. Not the act itself. My step-dad said, "I feel like I always have to watch what I have to say, and I shouldn't have to worry about . Been with each other for roughly 4 years. My worst mistake was not breaking up right away. Then the friend asked my wife if she had ever been tempted to cheat on me with (insert ex-boyfriend's name), to which my wife replied saying hell no, that she would never risk our marraige like that. Ugh. Can you trust a person like that after all this? That's what's really completely messed up - she's been joking with pals behind his back for a couple years and never told him she had slipped up. So (and this is where your perception of the relationship comes in) you have to determine whether she was going with the flow of the conversation or whether she does actually have an issue with that. Does she really think they dont laugh at her for doing bi things with you behind her back as well? Stay strong man I can only hope you can move on from this with your confidence restored. Ive never been in a similar situation, but heres my take for what its worth. It was a low blow, but fuck that shit. Your wife just served up a huge plate of steaming crap and it is you who has to eat it. Dude she sucks I cant believe people are defending this at all, its pure misandry, if the roles were reversed and a man was letting secrets slip and talking ill of his wife then torches would be coming out, but thats just how women are when theyre with the girls, no secrets! Fuck all that haha, that is so disrespectful. That is something you tell your partner immediately after it happens (same with exposing your sexuality to her friends). Do you think she feels the same way about you?? Juatt know that that is okay and it can take as long as it takes. She betrayed your trust, and she makes fun of your sexuality to her friends? Take a few days away from everything. I heard their conversation. Ngl bro the first halve is disrespect enough, you now know she keeps important shit to herself like Tom tryna derail your marriage and is at the same time comfortable sharing your personal life with her friends and entertaining her friends disrespecting you in your own home. Me: Oh, does (friend) work with Tom? I said this as sarcastically as possible. They didnt hear me come into the kitchen. The good you do today maybe forgotten tomorrow. Honestly I admire you had the balls to call her out in front of her friends and kick everyone out! Your sexuality isn't really fodder to take the piss out of. Shes married to a bi man, and her idiot friends shouldnt have the power to make her feel bad about it. There is now a before and an after in your marriage. And her dissing your sexual needs to her friends and I truly understand that it was very hurtful and disrespectful to you and your marriage. Once you know how you need to move forward, she can either own her awful behavior and support you or she can kick rocks. How much more reassurance do you need? And sometimes its nice to vent about the small stuff and have close friends relate to you and help you feel youre not alone. Also sound out the wives who weren't judgemental and ask their opinions. Couple of things: I have a very close group of girlfriends. Ebony milf with big tits, shaking young boy's cock in rough modes 06:00. This is not helpful but wow. People do stupid shit. Outing you accidentally is one thing, but there are a load of major no-nos here. Keep sleeping on it, brother. She may end up escalating the situation. As others have said you've been outed and made fun of for YEARS now and the weight of that should be made apparent to your "wife". Fourthly, buy that man a beer. There are plenty things I could talk about my girlfriend and make fun of her for it to my mates, but I dont because what happens between us stays between us. It's time to contact a lawyer, bro. I would take a long look to see if this is reconcilable. She should immediately be defending you if they're bigots and jerks about your sexuality. Cool off first of all. She needs to apologize to you in a way that doesn't offset the blame to her friends. Your wife is a pretty disgusting person. Is she going to put them as well and claim she didnt mean it and that she was just drunk or gossiping? And kept listening isnt funny but that first line killed me seeds of doubt to her friends do! Hopefully it isnt one day against it and peek inside the kitchen I!, bro ever be able to `` do the bi stuff '' in bed her... 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